Dear Alex,
They're back in my head. Well, I think they never left. I just got better at ignoring them. But it's getting hard again. I feel pressured. The worst thing is it's actually a problem. I need help, but I don't want it. All those people who tried to help me, just made me feel worse. Talking with you is relieving, but the thing is I don't just need someone who can listen I need someone who'll answer.But I can't expect anybody understand me. People are struggling with their own problems. I guess you don't have any problems now, so is it okay that I expect that you'll listen now?

First of all I think clearing out the voices, you know getting them defines will help me. I hear different things.
1. This one keeps repeating these words: Fat, ugly, worthless. It's some kinda basic. It just keeps going on.
2. This one keeps talking to me. Like it tells everything that can go wrong. Everything that went wrong in the past.
3. The last one. I don't know if this one makes me uncomfortable or not. It's your voice. It says something, but I'm never able to hear it clearly.

And of course my own mind. Sometimes it just makes me wanna rip my head off. I try as hard as I can to ignore it all. But it makes it hard for me to concentrate or even just be able to have normal convo. I often can't focus on what the people I'm talking with are saying.

My mum keeps yelling at me for forgetting things, and not answering when she's talking. I wish I could just tell her what's going on, but I don't wanna worry her. My dad has been kind of calm the past days.

-A