Finished my Tamil exam without even studying for it, guess it went ok. Not too bad. I think I finally found my dress for prom. I'm the very picky type, when it's about something I wear. Because I wanted it to look good on me, without being too fir or too loose. And I have this thing about i want it to be simple, but not boring. Shows my figure, but not too girly. And it HAS to be black. You see my problem? Well, anyways th e problem is solved now. Just thinking about shoes now, because I only feel comfortable in a short dress if I wear heels, but I don't know if I wanna wear heels because that'll probably make me taller than R. But whatever?
So I'm trying to get my body in "shape" for prom. I'm not allowed to say I'm fat anymore, since I got proven that I weigh too little. So what can I say? I don't feel like my body looks the way it should. It's not perfect. Like my thighs and bum are too big. My upper body is ok, but my arms are wierd. I'll just hide it with a cardigan.
So I got this kinda Anxiety-thing. Where I get really nervous/scared for a while. It's really scary, and embarrassing when people ask what's wrong, but I can't do anything about it. I've had a few "attacks" at school, but luckily the only who noticed are M&J. But I'm getting more and more of these, it's been worse thru the weekend. I really don't know what to do. I'm afraid. What if it happens, and others notice? My social life is bad already, could this make it even worse?
This is really relieving. I think I finally found my way to talk with someone.
I don't even care if noone reads this, but one day I'll look back at this and see how my days used to be.
Sincerely yours
-A
