the best & the worst

So we had to practice musical in the first 2 lessons. The play is going ok. But I fucking hate the music-teacher!!! First he was like "no, you can't audition. Not my fault that you were at hospital" but then this other teacher talked with him, and he was like "all right, one chance then". Then they wanted me to sing Summer Nights from Grease, which I hate. I really hate the girl's voice, it's so high. But because I love performing, and it is my only chance to sing in front of a bigger crowd, I said yes. I used so much time practicing it, but at music class I found out that I've practiced it in a wrong pitch. So I got told listen to the song as much as possible, and keep practicing. I did that. I fucking listened to that fucking annoying song ao many times. But today, they said they're not even going to use it. Ugh, I fucking hate it, when people make you all excited, but then no...Boom, and put you down low again. Waaaahay! :(

But if we look on the bright side, no big attacks at all! Only some few shakes, but it went over again. J only want the best for me, but she just messed up my mind. But she asked what if I didn't know the truth about my angle's death? Like I never got any confirming, what if it wasn't an accident?  It's been hard to concentrate with that on my mind, but I'll be fine.

Wherever he is, he's better there! He deserves the best, and that's what he'll be getting!